completely different.

completely different place, completely different time.
i've arrived in iraq and its suprising good for me. i look at myself in the mirror and i dont care for it still, but at least i dont hate it.
it's so weird, i haven't felt depressed yet. i have a friend here that keeps me sane. i still try to look at bryan's profile to give me some sort of self loathing, although i'm still happy nonetheless. i've gained 15 pounds.
its funny though, because i feel a lot healthier. i'm still throwing up. just not as much. i threw up today. i ate a lot and i felt guilty about it. but at least i'm eating more, that's the important thing.
i've been working a lot and working out a lot. i haven't set my eyes on anyone of interest. i'm still talking to aidan, and am pretty sure that i'll be with him when i get back. he's counting the days until he sees me, which is great. bryan contacted me on facebook, saying he misses me and thinks about the great times we've had. i dont really let it phase me though, because with him i dont know what is real and what isn't. all i know is, that i'm living my life for right now, and that's all i can do. no more hating myself.
i can't drink here, which is wonderful, because if i' did i think i would go stir crazy. i'm not taking my ambien anymore, the bottle is a little reminder of my crazy self. that is mia.